My Long Overdue Top Movies of 2013

(SPOILER WARNING!!! This article does contain spoilers, if you haven’t seen the movie, just see the first paragraph to be informed without spoilers!!!)

Yes I know what y’all are thinking. Why is he doing this now? Ugh, ain’t this 2014? Why start this article in practically the middle of the year? First off, i will apologize for the tardiness of this article. This article should of been done in January. It’s just that getting to watch almost all the movies i wanted to see to make this article was easier said than done. Please understand that I’m not a paid critic that has the luxury of seeing movies way in advance (instead i have to wait for some movies of 2013 that came out in January). I can’t travel to the film festivals where some good movies would be hard to find even illegally on the internet. I’m just a joe schmo with a passion that i can hope can lead me to places. Once again, I apologize for the lateness, but without further here are my top movies of 2013:

I have to say that 2013 has definitely created a good separation between the really good movies to the really bad movies. There was no real debate between critics and fans on which movies should get more than what they deserved from the critics, and which movies were praised by critics and shouldn’t get all the credit. There were a few in my part, but I will get to that later. Let’s start with my Top 10 movies of 2013:

10: This is the End- 4.5 Stars out of 5 (Hans’ rating)

I have to say this was a pleasant surprise for me. From the premise of the movie I thought this was going to be a so-so comedy starring Seth Rogan who hasn’t made a real hilarious movie in a while. I loved the fact that all the actors in the movie played a heightened version of themselves. It shows that they don’t mind making fun of themselves have a great sense of humor. There were so many cameos of people playing themselves was genius, and seeing Michael Cera playing the biggest douche of all celebrities and getting slapped by Rihanna was just classic. So many memorable moments and lines in this post apocalyptic comedy that you will be laughing the whole freaking time you watch this movie. For some, there are some sacrilegious themes and scenes that could be offensive to some, but if you look past that, it is a hilarious treat.

9) Star Trek Into Darkness- 4.5 Stars out of 5

Star Trek Into Darkness was a movie that definitely exceeded all expectations (unless you’re a die hard Trekker who thought it was the worst movie). I was astounded by the direction of J. J. Abrams with this movie with great action and scenery, and how well acted this movie was. Benedict Cumberbatch (the most busiest actor in 2013) played the role of Kahn very well, and very menacing and was a perfect cast. Also, many fans had a great amount of respect for Spock played by Zachary Quinto. I thought this movie was one of the few movies that surpassed the sequel curse and made it better for this series, and I’m confident that J. J. Abrams is the right man for the Star Wars franchise

8) Man of Steel- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

Man of Steel movie was definitely the Superman movie I was waiting for. I wanted to see a Superman that is struggling to see what is right and wrong while he is living with humans on planet earth. I loved seeing the destruction as he goes against General Zod, played by Michael Shannon. Also, (much to the chagrin of the Superman purist) has killed his main enemy. I believe this Superman movie has shown a lot of emotion for Superman, played by Henry Cavill, in figuring out who he really is and what he must do on Earth. Great directing by Zack Snyder in painting a great picture of Metropolis and the carnage after the epic fight. I’m kind of excited about the sequel with Batman (and probably some other Justice league heroes), and see what DC Comics will do to try to catch up with Marvel Cinematic Universe.

7) Thor: The Dark World 4.5 out of 5 Stars

This is the movie Thor fans have been waiting for. It had a lot of epic battle scenes thanks to the direction of Game of Thrones director Alan Taylor. This movie, I believe, really showed what the character of Thor is all about, and showed how far Loki will go to achieve his obsession to be a ruler of a world. This movies also proves that the Marvel Cinematic Universe hasn’t lost a step yet and it all leads up to the Avengers 2 which many fans can’t wait. Just keep doing what you do best MCU.

6) The Hunger Games: Catching Fire- 4.5 Stars out of 5

This movie was also a pleasant surprise for me. I didn’t think this movie will be as good as the first one especially hearing from book readers that this is the weakest book. Thank goodness i watch instead of read cuz this movie has exceeded my expectations. The movie really shows how Katniss Everdeen, played by the beautiful Jennifer Lawrence, realizes she needs to be the hero against a corrupt government. The twist ending in the end will definitely make you have hunger for more of the future movies in this series.

5) Fruitvale Station- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

This is one movie that should have Oscar considerations. This was probably the most emotional movie I’ve seen in 2013 based on true events that happened in Oakland, CA New Years Eve 2009. A story where police racially and uneccesarily shot a person who was trying to turn his life around from his hustling lifestyle and be a man for his family. Even though you knew what was going to happen, the movie still surprises you on the impact of when that event occurred. A movie everyone should see. This is one of Michael B. Jordan’s best acting I’ve seen.

4) The Butler- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

Another movie that I thought deserved some Oscar consideration. I enjoyed the history in this movie, especially seeing cameos of different actors playing our past presidents. This movie also shows the struggle of African-Americans during the 50s to the 80s, and the struggle to fight back with violence or peacefully protest and do your job. I thought Forest Whitaker played a great role in being the White House butler during all these years and see how views have changed when time keeps going. An interesting and learnable movie to watch.

3) Captain Phillips- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

One of the most thrilling movies of the year. Tom Hanks playing Captain Phillips who is trying to save his ship and crew from being hijacked by Somali Pirates. What really stole the show was the acting of Barkhad Abdi playing the leader of the Somali Pirates that managed to get on board of the ship. This movie shows how pirates still exist today, and how scary they can be now. Definitely a thriller for everyone to watch.

2) American Hustle- 5 out of 5 Stars

This movie had a great cast, and they all delivered in their own way. This movie was funny, interesting, some points thrilling, enjoyable, and great with their twists and turns. This movie you will not get bored from beginning to end, and if you love 70’s culture and music, this is your movie. In my opinion the best cop movie I’ve seen since The Departed.

1) Gravity- 5 out of 5 Stars

This movie is, in my opinion, the best movie of the year (even though the Oscars showed that emotional history is better for them). A movie that had great action and thrilling edge of your seats trills throughout the whole movie. Even when the movie was about to have their slow parts, Alfonso Cuaron directs something to still make it a great spectacle for everyone to watch. Sandra Bullock acted great in this movie, and George Clooney (pretty much playing himself) was also a great asset to the movie. It is probably the closest to a realistic space movie, and it really shows how dangerous being in space can be. You have to see it in 3D to really grasp the power of this movie.

Now after the best, here are the worst movies of 2013:

10) Ass Backwards- 2 out of 5 Stars

A movie about two broke girls roadtripping to be beauty queens. Just that last sentence should raise red flags. Movie was not funny, and you couldn’t relate to these dumb characters. hey deserved bad things to happen to them.

9) Closed Circuits- 2 out of 5 Stars

A movie that really made me fall asleep because of the boringness of this law and order movie. i’m almost fell asleep just writing about this movie.

8) Baggage Claim- 2 out of 5 Stars

This movie made no sense. A stewardess flying around to get in touch with her ex flings and see if they could work it out. Hello, that is horrible idea and complete waste of time. Also shows why girls really should date their guys in the dreaded friend zone that y’all like to throw good guys in.

7) A Haunted House- 2 out of 5 Stars

Another dreadful parody horror movie that stars Marlon Wayans. I guess the Wayans aren’t dead yet, marlon Wayans is staying alive, but why is he still alive in movies.

6) Scary Movie V- 2 out of 5 Stars

Another dreadful parody horror movie minus Marlon Wayans, and Anna Faris. You think they will stop after the forth one, but no, another one pops up. Also some scenes graphics look like 80’s claymation. I guess they spent most of their budget on Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan. (Shaking my head.)

5) Admission- 2 out of 5 Stars

I expected better from Tina Fey, but this movie really didn’t have a major point. The only thing I got is how a respected Princeton University recruiter lost her job during this whole movie. So sad for me to care, and hopefully not an oman of Tina Fey’s career.

4) The Mortal instruments: City of Bones-  2 out of 5 Stars

I’m getting tired of these teenage books getting turned to awful movies. They really are trying hard to make the next Twilight series for movies. In this case is another love story dealing with demons of all sort. Might sound cool, but the direction of the movie really made it hard to follow. Add bad acting to the mix, you get this monstrosity.

3) The Host- 2 out of 5 Stars

This story was just really annoying. A girl who pretty much is dealing with schizophrenia, and ends up saving a family from a corrupt government. Sounds all too cliche with an annoying twist. This movie was also the case of great trailers, horrible movie.

2) You’re Next- 2 out of 5 Stars

First off, I’m not into gory messes, but when even critics recommend it, I had to give it a gander. Unfortunately, the story, the jump scares, and the characters made my stomach turned too much, and made my mind really hate this overhyped movies. Now I can’t see Lion’s heads anymore without thinking of this movie. Thanks a lot.

1) Movie 43- 1.5 out of 5 Stars

The first scene you see Hugh Jackman with testicles on his neck.Then the movie just cannon balled from there. I don’t understand why some great actors took these roles. It was not funny, instead it was just plain out gross, offensive, and miserable. All I can say is this movie is not worth to watch for free. Yes it’s that bad, and the worst of 2013.

 

Other Categories of My Opinion:

 

Funniest Movie of the Year: This is the End- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

As I said before, a surprisingly hilarious movie. The Channing Tatum cameo alone will make this movie worth it.

 

Best Animated Movie: Monsters U- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

Another movie that should have had Oscar consideration. I thought it was a cleverly written story that reused some of my favorite Pixar movie characters in Monsters Inc.

 

Movie that Made the Most Money: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire- 4.5 out of 5 Stars

Yes this movie was worth paying for, and deserved every penny. Can’t wait for the next movie.

 

Movie I Liked that Most People Didn’t Like: After Earth- 4 out 5 Stars

I think most of the hate was for M. Night Shyamalon, and after what he did to Avatar: The Last Airbender he deserves that. However, this movie I didn’t think it was bad. I was actually entertained by it. I thought Will Smith acted well, and Jayden Smith to progress through puberty  a little more to become a decent actor. I thought the story was decent, and had beautiful scenery. I guess the hate outweighs that goodness that I saw, but ah well.

 

Movie that I Hated While Other People Liked: You’re Next- 2 out of 5 Stars

I already mentioned why before, but I still don’t understand why it had a 74% on rottentatoes.com.

After all of this here are my final rankings of the movies I seen in 2013. Go ahead love it or hate it, but this is just me!!!

 

Top Movies of 2013

Gravity 5 Stars
American Hustle 5 Stars
Captain Phillips 4.5 Stars
The Butler 4.5 Stars
Fruitvale Station 4.5 Stars
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 4.5 Stars
Thor: The Dark World 4.5 Stars
Man of Steel 4.5 Stars
Star Trek Into Darkness 4.5 Stars
This is the End 4.5 Stars
Lone Survivor 4.5 Stars
Monsters University 4.5 Stars
Anchorman 2 4.5 Stars
Ironman 3 4 Stars
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 4 Stars
12 Years a Slave 4 Stars
Fast and Furious 6 4 Stars
Elysium 4 Stars
42 4 Stars
The Wolf of Wall Street 4 Stars
The Croods 4 Stars
Frozen 4 Stars
Prisoners 4 Stars
Disconnect 4 Stars
Her 4 Stars
Ender’s Game 4 Stars
After Earth 4 Stars
Snitch 4 Stars
Labor Day 4 Stars
Life of a King 4 Stars
Homefront 4 Stars
Parker 4 Stars
Bad Words 3.5 Stars
Now You See Me 3.5 Stars
Rush 3.5 Stars
World War Z 3.5 Stars
21 and Over 3.5 Stars
2 Guns 3.5 Stars
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom 3.5 Stars
The Best Man Holiday 3.5 Stars
Side Effects 3.5 Stars
We’re the Millers 3.5 Stars
Last Vegas 3.5 Stars
Assault on Wall Street 3.5 Stars
The Wolverine 3.5 Stars
The Last Stand 3.5 Stars
Riddick 3.5 Stars
The Internship 3.5 Stars
Despicable Me 2 3.5 Stars
Turbo 3.5 Stars
Oblivion 3.5 Stars
Epic 3.5 Stars
Jack the Giant Slayer 3.5 Stars
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone 3.5 Stars
The Call 3.5 Stars
G.I. Joe Retaliation 3 Stars
The Lone Ranger 3 Stars
The World’s End 3 Stars
Red 2 3 Stars
Only God Forgives 3 Stars
Dallas Buyers Club 3 Stars
Warm Bodies 3 Stars
Out of the Furnace 3 Stars
Nebraska 3 Stars
Philomena 3 Stars
Redemption 3 Stars
The Family 3 Stars
The Place Beyond the Pines 3 Stars
The Counselor 3 Stars
Oz the Great and Powerful 3 Stars
Europa Report 3 Stars
The Heat 3 Stars
Saving Mr. Banks 3 Stars
Escape Plan 3 Stars
Delivery Man 3 Stars
About Time 3 Stars
The Book Thief 3 Stars
Don Jon 3 Stars
Carrie 3 Stars
Dead Man Down 3 Stars
Empire State 3 Stars
A Good Day to Die Hard 3 Stars
The Hangover Part III 3 Stars
Jobs 3 Stars
Grown Ups 2 3 Stars
Pacific Rim 3 Stars
Runner, Runner 3 Stars
Black Nativity 3 Stars
Bad Grandpa 3 Stars
Free Birds 3 Stars
Escape From Planet Earth 3 Stars
The Grandmaster 3 Stars
Pain and Gain 2.5 Stars
The Great Gatsby 2.5 Stars
Olympus Has Fallen 2.5 Stars
Identity Thief 2.5 Stars
The Purge 2.5 Stars
The Conjuring 2.5 Stars
Inside Llewyn Davis 2.5 Stars
Blue Jasmine 2.5 Stars
Kick-Ass 2 2.5 Stars
47 Ronin 2.5 Star
Grudge Match 2.5 Stars
Hansel and Gretal: Witch Hunters 2.5 Stars
The To Do List 2.5 Stars
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 2.5 Stars
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty 2.5 Stars
Getaway 2.5 Stars
R.I.P.D. 2.5 Stars
Spring Breakers 2.5 Stars
Planes 2.5 Stars
Paranoia 2.5 Stars
Gangster Squad 2.5 Stars
Broken City 2.5 Stars
Battle of the Year 2.5 Stars
Bullet to the Head 2.5 Stars
White House Down 2.5 Stars
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters 2.5 Stars
A.C.O.D. 2.5 Stars
Parkland 2.5 Stars
The Big Wedding 2.5 Stars
The Frozen Ground 2.5 Stars
Killing Season 2.5 Stars
The Company You Keep 2.5 Stars
All is Bright 2.5 Stars
Mud 2.5 Stars
Smurfs 2 2.5 Stars
Girl Most Likely 2.5 Stars
Machete Kills 2 Stars
Peeples 2 Stars
The Fifth Estate 2 Stars
August: Osage County 2 Stars
Diana 2 Stars
Drinking Buddies 2 Stars
Ass Backwards 2 Stars
Closed Circuit 2 Stars
Baggage Claim 2 Stars
A Haunted House 2 Stars
Scary Movie V 2 Stars
Admission 2 Stars
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones 2 Stars
The Host 2 Stars
You’re Next 2 Stars
Movie 43 1.5 Stars

Once again, sorry for the lateness!!!

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